Awkward Conversation
by Ash Light
Summary: “There is something, isn’t there? Do I have a sign on my back which says ‘Victim for taunting here’?” Much feels depressed. Robin tries to talk him out of it. He fails. Badly. Based on the 2006 BBC series.


**A/N:** Had this going around in my head all day, so I finally decided to get it down. I love writing Much. He's so sweet! All-conversation piece, sorry if it's hard to read...

Just for the record, I don't think the only reason Much fell in love with Eve was because she payed attention to him. It's just easier to say that for this piece. Plus, I love Much/Eve, I just think the possibility of Much and Djaq getting together is utterly cute. They really should!!

* * *

_A pout_. 

"Honestly, what _is_ it about me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Much. You're just a bit…different."

"There is something, isn't there? Do I have a sign on my back which says 'Victim for taunting here'?"

"No!"

"…Is that why Allan keeps slapping my back so much?"

"Much, Allan is not placing signs on your back. There's nothing wrong with you! Just because you're different from Allan and Will…"

"Different as in; less talented, less handsome, less dashing, and more stupid, more hopeless and more of an idiot?"

"Don't be daft!"

"It isn't you who's always ignored by women, is it? I'd like to see a girl _brave_ enough to ignore you!"

_A helpless, self-satisfied grin_. "Well…"

"Well, apart from Marian, of course."

_Grin fades slightly_. "I suppose…"

"She ignores you quite a bit."

_Looking relatively uneasy now_. "Yeah, well…"

"When she's not shouting at you, that is."

_Annoyed_. "Yes, _thankyou_ Much."

_A glum pause_.

"There is something wrong with me."

"Much, that is not true."

_A skeptical eyebrow is raised._

"It isn't!"

"Yes it is! You were there, master! It's not the best confidence booster when the same girl that's been giggling for an eternity at whatever rubbish Allan comes up with _doesn't even turn around_ when you talk to her!"

"Maybe she just didn't hear you?"

_The arms are folded._ "I tapped her on the shoulder."

_Horrible awkward pause. Robin stares at the ground as if wishing it would swallow him up_.

"….Ah."

"Yes, ah. It didn't help that the _entire gang_ started laughing at me when she'd left!"

"The entire gang was _not_ laughing at you, Much! There was…well, I suppose….well, Djaq wasn't laughing, was she?"

_Reluctant_. "I suppose not."

"See? Djaq didn't find your embarrassment funny either, did she?"

"No…." _A frown._ "Because she was too busy feeling sorry for me! That's even worse!"

_A yell of frustration_. "You are impossible!"

"It's not fair." _A glum sigh_. "There really is something wrong with me. I bet. It's like some kind of illness. And in years to come, some really intelligent physician that will end up being the offspring of a truly terrifying union of Djaq and Allan, which is just sick and wrong by the way, will discover the illness and call it something like 'The Much'. And people who catch it will be shunned, and sent to live in monasteries, or completely sent

from human society, like lepers or something!" _Sigh_.

_Officially petrified now._ "Much. There is nothing wrong with you."

"Of course there is! Why else would all these things keep happening to me?"

"Because…well…I suppose…" _A frightened pause, in which you can see Robin wondering how long it will take to get to his feet and run like the blazes_. "I don't know, Much. They shouldn't keep happening to you."

"Well, that's what I think!"

_More silence_.

"Women do _not_ keep ignoring you, Much."

_A snort_.

"They don't! Djaq doesn't! Marian doesn't!"

"Marian thinks I'm the equivalent of an annoying baby brother, and Djaq thinks I'm an idiot. The only girl in my _entire life_ who hasn't ignored me was Eve." _Another mournful pause. Robin pats Much on the back._ "I think that was why I fell in love with her."

"That's not the only reason though, is it?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

_A disbelieving look_.

"Love isn't about a girl paying attention to you, Much!"

_A blank look of confusion. _"….It's not?"

"No! It's something completely different! Look at me and Marian! She…it's more about caring for her, and being free with her, and wanting to be with her, and..." _Voice trails off into dreamy silence_.

_A cough_. "This would be the same Marian that's marrying Gisborne?"

_Irritated again._ "Shut up, Much."

"Sorry."

"Look, Much, love is about more than just someone noticing you. It's about…caring for someone, and standing by them, and being able to be yourself around them, and yes, the occasional teasing bout at times. Not just them paying attention to you!"

"Oh."

"You see now?"

_A moment of musing_.

"Master…you do realise the relationship you've described is almost identical to mine and Djaq's?"

"I did realise that, yes."

_Another moment of musing. Much's grin turns to an expression which could be labelled as horror._

"Master, surely not!"

_A cherubic grin_."What? What did I do now?"

_The look of horror intensifies. _"That's….it's…_Djaq_?! That's just….well, it's…wrong, for one thing!"

"What's wrong with Djaq?"

_Looks indignant_. "Nothing's _wrong_ with Djaq! I like her! She's funny, she's brave, and I'm sure if she stopped trying to look like a boy, she'd look really…" _Dreamy expression for half a millisecond, before it's replaced with a look of total fear_. "…you know what, this conversation should just stop. Right now."

"Agreed."

_Searching for an excuse_. "Besides, there's Allan and Will."

"What about them?"

"Well, should I….I mean, if I _did_….not that I _do_, you understand, but if I _did_…they'd slaughter me."

_Smirk_. "That's possible, yes."

"Not that I do."

_An understanding nod_. "Of course."

_Brief pause._

"You think I should stop talking?"

"I think it's important that you do."


End file.
